The Ying & Yang of Lockdown
In early March 2020, Italy went into lockdown to try and contain the COVID-19 pandemic. The rest of Europe, at different intervals went into some form of lockdown.
For me the idea of lockdown, being an introvert seemed great to start with, I mean more time to chill, do the things you want to do, meditation, yoga and house work, the list goes on and on!
But having done this now for a few months, it's interesting to see how things have changed. At the start being around my partner way more than normal seemed difficult, not getting my usual space and while I was still going to work, unlike many others, I still found myself getting a bit groggy and pissy about small stuff. Now in late June, I'm really enjoying sharing my space with my partner as we both appear to have settled into this much more slower way of life. Frequently having time away from each other to get some space without feeling guilty has helped.
On the other hand, when lockdown started I found myself going with the flow, trying to be present with all the change and embracing it. As time has gone on, maybe this is due to the lack of distraction, I've had trouble sleeping and my anxiety appears to have popped its head out and started to cause some issues. The slowness and lack of constant distraction has allowed me the space for my insecurities to arise and leak out into other areas of my life. It's been really hard, waking up with the heavy feelings in my heart and again when I go to bed. I'm trying not to push my anxiety away at this time though, as I know from experience that it will lead to further problems down the road.
I'm taking this time to be present and compassionate to myself with my anxiety, trying as much as I can to use this time for inner healing, amongst the panic and sweats. It appears to have worked a little bit, as I'm finding my inner critic is getting less aggressive with me.
Along with my own personal inner observations its been incredible to see how different people are handling this pandemic.
I've seen people using this space to make incredibly great pieces of art, food and bread.
Alongside this, the way local communities have come together to take care of the most vulnerable people, as well as people who may not be vulnerable but have other difficulties. It's been great to see and hear about all this positive change. A contractor who I dealt with this week gave the below account of his block of flats;
"When lockdown hit, in my block of flats, all the residence who didn't have to shield or were not vulnerable put a slip of paper under peoples doors asking them if they needed anything. What was born from this effort was a COVID-19 WhatsApp group for my block of flats. It's great to see community action happen like this".
With this lockdown small businesses may have felt that they were going to struggle and maybe some have, but most small companies at the moment are struggling to keep up with demand as people are ordering from smaller companies to show their support for not only communities but for the most vulnerable businesses too. Almost everyone I have spoken to has said they have been ordering things from smaller companies even if its more expensive, as they feel its more beneficial and helps people feel like their money is making a real difference to someones life, instead of propping up the shareholders in the larger companies.
Due to the furlough scheme, charities have seen an incredible spike in the number of people volunteering, wanting to make a difference in the world with their free time. This pandemic has really showed the spirit of this country and I've never been prouder.
There is again a darker side to this too. The loss of life has been huge and the level of suffering caused is unimaginable. People who have lost loved ones to the virus have not been able see them in their dying moments, often their last image of them being them on oxygen as they are put into ambulances, this will no doubt lead to some large amounts of grief to deal with.
Even the ability to attend funerals has been impacted hard with only close relatives being able to attend and in some cases not having any formal funeral at all, it has truly been a difficult time.
I have also seen the impact this pandemic has had on those suffering with mental health issues. The idea of self isolating is extremely difficult and many have been furloughed and isolated on their own, meaning that they may find they feel like they have no purpose and this can lead to very high anxiety levels and deep depression coming back to highly unmanageable levels. This alongside the lack of person to person therapy can mean that suicide becomes more likely.
I have sadly heard of a number of suicides and attempts too and this fills me with sadness. Isolation for a lot of us, has meant seeing or sharing a household with others, but for those with mental health issues suffering alone, it makes them so very vulnerable.
On this note I'd like you to reflect on both the good and bad, if you have fallen under the good lockdown experience this is wonderful, if you have the energy and the time, I ask that you reach out to any friends that you know of who are alone and self isolating and to be there for them, be it to listen or just a catch up.
If you fall in the middle of good experiences, but feeling down or are dealing with mild mental health issues as I do, be aware of your energy levels and if you can, reach out to those suffering or vulnerable and be their, just be mindful of your own ability and try not to do too much.
If you are someone who is suffering a lot right now, then please know that you are not alone, and that people are there for you and if your up to it, reach out and talk to someone, as talking always helps. If you can't talk to friends or family right now, then speak to some of the organisations listed below as they will be able to offer some great support at this extremely difficult time, most importantly they won't judge you.
NHS Mental Health Helplines:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/
MIND: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/seeking-help-for-a-mental-health-problem/where-to-start/
Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org
Most of all, be kind to yourselves and others right now, its the most difficult thing our generation as gone through and what we all need right now is loving kindness and compassion.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post.
For me the idea of lockdown, being an introvert seemed great to start with, I mean more time to chill, do the things you want to do, meditation, yoga and house work, the list goes on and on!
But having done this now for a few months, it's interesting to see how things have changed. At the start being around my partner way more than normal seemed difficult, not getting my usual space and while I was still going to work, unlike many others, I still found myself getting a bit groggy and pissy about small stuff. Now in late June, I'm really enjoying sharing my space with my partner as we both appear to have settled into this much more slower way of life. Frequently having time away from each other to get some space without feeling guilty has helped.
On the other hand, when lockdown started I found myself going with the flow, trying to be present with all the change and embracing it. As time has gone on, maybe this is due to the lack of distraction, I've had trouble sleeping and my anxiety appears to have popped its head out and started to cause some issues. The slowness and lack of constant distraction has allowed me the space for my insecurities to arise and leak out into other areas of my life. It's been really hard, waking up with the heavy feelings in my heart and again when I go to bed. I'm trying not to push my anxiety away at this time though, as I know from experience that it will lead to further problems down the road.
I'm taking this time to be present and compassionate to myself with my anxiety, trying as much as I can to use this time for inner healing, amongst the panic and sweats. It appears to have worked a little bit, as I'm finding my inner critic is getting less aggressive with me.
Along with my own personal inner observations its been incredible to see how different people are handling this pandemic.
I've seen people using this space to make incredibly great pieces of art, food and bread.
Alongside this, the way local communities have come together to take care of the most vulnerable people, as well as people who may not be vulnerable but have other difficulties. It's been great to see and hear about all this positive change. A contractor who I dealt with this week gave the below account of his block of flats;
"When lockdown hit, in my block of flats, all the residence who didn't have to shield or were not vulnerable put a slip of paper under peoples doors asking them if they needed anything. What was born from this effort was a COVID-19 WhatsApp group for my block of flats. It's great to see community action happen like this".
With this lockdown small businesses may have felt that they were going to struggle and maybe some have, but most small companies at the moment are struggling to keep up with demand as people are ordering from smaller companies to show their support for not only communities but for the most vulnerable businesses too. Almost everyone I have spoken to has said they have been ordering things from smaller companies even if its more expensive, as they feel its more beneficial and helps people feel like their money is making a real difference to someones life, instead of propping up the shareholders in the larger companies.
Due to the furlough scheme, charities have seen an incredible spike in the number of people volunteering, wanting to make a difference in the world with their free time. This pandemic has really showed the spirit of this country and I've never been prouder.
There is again a darker side to this too. The loss of life has been huge and the level of suffering caused is unimaginable. People who have lost loved ones to the virus have not been able see them in their dying moments, often their last image of them being them on oxygen as they are put into ambulances, this will no doubt lead to some large amounts of grief to deal with.
Even the ability to attend funerals has been impacted hard with only close relatives being able to attend and in some cases not having any formal funeral at all, it has truly been a difficult time.
I have also seen the impact this pandemic has had on those suffering with mental health issues. The idea of self isolating is extremely difficult and many have been furloughed and isolated on their own, meaning that they may find they feel like they have no purpose and this can lead to very high anxiety levels and deep depression coming back to highly unmanageable levels. This alongside the lack of person to person therapy can mean that suicide becomes more likely.
I have sadly heard of a number of suicides and attempts too and this fills me with sadness. Isolation for a lot of us, has meant seeing or sharing a household with others, but for those with mental health issues suffering alone, it makes them so very vulnerable.
If you fall in the middle of good experiences, but feeling down or are dealing with mild mental health issues as I do, be aware of your energy levels and if you can, reach out to those suffering or vulnerable and be their, just be mindful of your own ability and try not to do too much.
If you are someone who is suffering a lot right now, then please know that you are not alone, and that people are there for you and if your up to it, reach out and talk to someone, as talking always helps. If you can't talk to friends or family right now, then speak to some of the organisations listed below as they will be able to offer some great support at this extremely difficult time, most importantly they won't judge you.
NHS Mental Health Helplines:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/
MIND: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/seeking-help-for-a-mental-health-problem/where-to-start/
Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org
Most of all, be kind to yourselves and others right now, its the most difficult thing our generation as gone through and what we all need right now is loving kindness and compassion.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post.
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